Feeling the "Love"

I really felt the love for valentines day and during the week with lots of love from across the world, seeing Mel and Chris, Lein and Duane, Isla and Esmé, Rommeij and Rikki over the internet. I had a homemade card from Mr Margie. I got get well cards and drawings, flowers from my aunt in Australia, a basket of flowers from my parents, crocus bulbs from my dear friends and special visits from dear people who have my recovery at their very hearts. I have visitors lined up for next week too. 

This week I met with my Oncologist and my GP, both of whom are very supportive  and understanding.  My Oncologist informed Mr Margie, my Mum and I that since the cancer has been removed the mop up chemo will be tailored especially towards my needs. I will meet with her again in early March to discuss starting date and chemo drugs.  My GP identified my leg pain as L5 nerve memory pain due to the epidural. It will slowly improve and walking and exercising will help. There is a drug I could take but it has side effects and with chemo on the way I prefer not to have more complications. 

As a result of all the love I am improving slightly everyday, able to be up longer and a bit more active and eating a little more also. I am feeling very loved and very proud of myself.

Big hugs, 

Love Margie ❤️

Next steps and update

I had a hospital visit last Friday with the histopathology of my surgery, it showed my cancer is quite advanced, I had a 6 cm tumour and 4 of the 28 lymph nodes contained cancer, so mop up chemo is the next step. I will be starting another three rounds of chemo in a week or two and I am busy everyday at improving my eating, a challenge in itself due to the small amounts I can take and the unpleasant and painful side effects of over eating or being dehydrated. Yesterday afternoon I tried some croissant, only to suffer for the next three hours, pains, sweats, weakness, symptoms of something called "dumping syndrome" apparently these symptoms reduce in the first 6 months to a year after Gastrectomy.

 

 I have not been sleeping too well either, I have had pains in my legs, that woke me up after one or two hours sleep, perhaps dehydration the dietician said, perhaps psychological as a result of the surgery the doctor said, I wondered if it was the result of having the epidural for eight days. All my bloods came back within the normal parameters so not electrolyte issues.  I started taking multi vits two days ago and last night was a good night, no leg pains for six hours and only waking for a few minutes, not the hours of before, so hopefully it was a lack of some trace element. I feel that I have had a move along to a slightly better feeling, so it can only be upwards and onwards from here. 

Big hugs, 

Love Margie ❤️

14 days after surgery

It has been a difficult time for me. I was discharged from hospital on Wednesday and spent three days feeling broken, loosing weight, no apetite and not caring if I lived or died. I was in pain and loosing my fighting spirit. Thankfully will the love and care of my family and friends I am pulling through. I have begun to eat a bit, that bringing it's challenges too. I spoke to Ming, my friend in Singapore,  who has just beat cancer, and he explained the first month after surgery is very tough. he has set up a website with a friend called You Are Not Alone to support stomach cancer sufferers.  Friends and family kindly send me texts and messages of love to keep me fighting. Others sent gifts and cards to bring me along. I am the lucky recipient of a handmade personalised box and card from my blogging friend Julie M, they are so beautiful. Mel sent me a frame with photos of Isla and Esmé, a friend from Dublin sent me a scarf/shawl and a dear friend from Ascot spoiled me with a beautiful CK knitting bag. 

Big hugs, 

Love Margie ❤️

Surgery

On Monday January 20th I underwent a full Gastrectomy. I was five hours in surgery while a team of four surgeons two male and two female performed a procedure called a " Roux en Y" . This procedure entails removing the stomach entirely and connecting the oesophageal tube and the small bowel to each other directly. They took layers of the soft tissue around the stomach also, and both the stomach and the lymph nodes in those layers have gone to the lab for a full historical pathology. I have 23 staples in the vertical incision that runs through my belly button. There is a drain stitched in to the cavity extracting fluid, I had a central line in the side of my neck with five outlets. There were two cannulas in my arms one directly in to an artery. I have a J tube stitched directly in to my small bowel for liquid feeding, I have had an epidural connected to my back which I am hoping to have removed today.

I have started eating soft food since Friday evening having completed an ink test that turned my tongue smurf blue! There have been good moments each time another tube is removed, but there have also been low moments, pain, frustration, and doubt. The team who have been caring for me and I really do mean caring have done an incredible piece of surgery, respected my opinions, held my hand, wiped my tears,and hugged me along every step of the way, and I am so grateful to each and every one of them. The nurses and ward staff too in the main have been incredible in their care. I did have one bad experience but those of you who know me realise that I am not shy in letting someone know that I do not feel respected, or that I am also a member of the team. It has been a powerful experience to share the ward with a group of women, each with their own unique story and on their own journeys, who are funny, witty, and above all understanding of the highs and lows. Mr Margie and I spoke to professor Ridgeway the other evening and his words were inspiring " we are ahead of the game and we intend to stay that way". This morning I have been told that the epidural is coming off and depending on my response I am may be going home tomorrow. 

Big hugs, 

Love. Margie ❤️

Surgery rescheduled

My surgery has been rescheduled to January 20th. At first I was disappointed, then my Dad was admitted to hospital on Thursday so I was glad I am not going in on Monday. He is undergoing tests at the moment. I have another week to eat up lots more vegan and healthy foods.

 

I also want to get a walk in as often as I can, in the woods with Mr Margie and out two black labs Mimi and Matilde, 

Big hugs, 

Love Margie ❤️

New Year

Mr Margie and I had a wonderful two weeks with our daughters, granddaughters, son in law, niece and her boyfriend, nephew and my parents over Christmas and New Year. We had great chats and laughs, played games, shared great home cooked vegan food and I was totally spoiled every single day. I was sad saying goodbye. The house seems very quiet. 

I had the chemotherapy pump removed last Tuesday, after three pre op cycles. My surgery date is January 13 th. I am meeting as many family and friends as I can before surgery, as I am not sure yet how long I will be in hospital and I will be having three post op chemotherapy cycles, which more than likely will mean restricted visits again. 

Today I visited my gran aunt Bridie, my Dad's aunt who is 95 years old. She is a nun and has been praying for me everyday, as have so many other family and friends. Although I am not religious, I appreciate all the prayers, holy medals, and relics, I am touched that people think of me so often, and I welcome the positivity and support it really helps me through and keeps me strong and positive.

Love Margie ❤️

Christmas time

I went to the hospital yesterday for blood tests and to have the chemo pump of 5FU changed.  The whole extended family joined me, and both Isla and Esmé were the centre of attention.

My bloods came back and the neutrophines were 1.9, highest yet at this stage of the cycle. I will be finishing up this cycle on New Years Eve. 

Last night I had a beautiful Christmas Eve supper with family and some close friends and we sang Carol songs in between our courses, ( mostly vegan dishes prepared by Lein) thank you v much Lein, for cooking great food on Christmas Eve and a feast of gorgeous goodness on Christmas Day. 

 

It was an early rise this morning to see what Santa had left for us.

I have been thoroughly spoiled this year, thank you Marc, Lein, Duane, Mel, Chris, Isla, Esmé, Rommeij, Rikki and Cole for spending time together at Chez Margie and for so many beautiful gifts including a gorgeous silk scarf by Joules, 

spiced Apple Yankee Candle, ceramic candle holders, I gift vouchers for my favourite shops, a NZ spinning wheel and Dubarry boots.  

I wish you a peaceful and joy filled holiday season. 

big hugs, 

Love Margie ❤️